Skip to main content

A Short (but Telling) List of Things I've Never Owned

This year I'll celebrate a milestone birthday.  As I measure my life thus far, I've had a chance to reflect on the man I've become. To a certain degree we can define our lives by the possessions we keep (vintage scooters, original artwork, fine antiques, high-end electronics, etc). Looking back, I realize the converse is also true. In many respects we can tell as much about someone by the things they haven't owned, as by the things they have.

In that spirit, I offer a short but telling list of items I've never owned.
 
  • Sandals (Flip-flops, yes. Sandals, no).
  • A Bowling Ball
  • A Fanny Pack
  • A Chrysler Product (This actually surprised me. I've owned dozens of cars, but never a Chrysler)
  • A Recliner
  • A Sonic Youth Record (Again, surprising)
  • Castanets
  • Cargo Pants (including Cargo Shorts) (In the interest of full disclosure, I once owned something that my mom referred to as "camping pants". These were shorts with a variety of clasps, pockets and boondoggles. While their function approximated those of cargo pants, aesthetically they were a completely different animal. They also weren't called cargo pants. So no, I've never owned Cargo Pants)
  • A Portable Music Player (This includes the Walkman, the Discman, an Mp3 player or any related varieties thereof)
  • Cross-trainers
  • A Radar Detector
  • A French Press
  • A Pinky Ring
  • A Skateboard
  • Chrome Rims
  • Any Musical Instrument in the Reed Family
  • Nikes
  • A Tennis Racket
  • Oakley Sunglasses
  • A Hunting Knife (Come to think of it, I've lived my life pretty much free of any dedicated weaponry. This includes guns, quarterstaffs, kendo sticks, crossbows, slingshots, throwing stars, maces, broadswords, boomerangs, and truncheons (Though I did have a souvenir baseball bat when I was younger)).
  • A Trampoline
  • A Tank Top
  • Poker Chips
  • A Zippo Lighter
  • Horseshoes (decorative or otherwise)
  • String Art



Comments

  1. SteveApril 22, 2013 at 12:08 PM

    I think there's a milestone birthday present list in this somewhere.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

#library30

  On Wednesday April 1, 2026 I'll be rebooting the #library30 photo challenge and inviting people to participate in this year's event. What is it? Even though I work in a library, it's not uncommon for me (and others in the field) to look to related cultural institutions for new ideas and new perspectives. That's how #library30 happened. My wife (who worked directly with museum professionals at the time), alerted me to the #museum30 initiative that had been launched by  Magnifying Zoology  in 2017. The premise was pretty simple. Participants worked from a set of daily prompts and posted pictures on social media related to the prompt along with the #museum30 hashtag. As I followed that hashtag and saw the amazing stories that were being shared, I thought, "Libraries should do that...". And #library30 was born. A plain text list of these prompts are provided at the end of this blog post.  How does it work? All you have to do is upload a photo related to the dail...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Ohio Historical Center: A Defense

A couple weeks ago I was contacted by Carrie Ghose at Business First to share my thoughts on architecture in central Ohio. The recent controversy surrounding the new Student Union at Ohio State had apparently sparked a number of conversations regarding what constitutes "good" building design. Carrie was following that story , and developing a second piece to get feedback on other notable Columbus buildings. At the time I offered a staunch a defense of what I believe might be the most maligned and misunderstood building in central Ohio, the Ohio Historical Center. Business First wasn't able to run the whole piece, so I've decided to turn it into a blog post. photo courtesy of OHS/ www.ohiomemory.org The refrain is a as old as the building itself, "It's ugly. It's just a giant brown box. It doesn't even look like a museum". Sadly, it's that exact line of thinking that poses the greatest threat to the building Architectural Record referre...
7 comments
Read more

Nordecke Misogynists F**k Off!

You know what's worse than watching the Crew SC blow a 3-0 lead to Toronto FC in the 89th minute? Watching them blow that lead while goons in the Nordecke chant: You're all a bunch of cunts! You're all a bunch of cunts! Fuck You Toronto! You're all a bunch of cunts! Seriously. People chanted this. In public. With enthusiasm. This, right here: You're all a bunch of cunts! You're all a bunch of cunts! Fuck You Toronto! You're all a bunch of cunts! And lest you think this was just an isolated case of gender specific insults conjured up by a toxic mixture of dollar beer night and fan frustration, I can assure you it's not. Gendered insults pop up in the Nordecke in a way that's as alarming as it is regular. If an opposing player gets hurt or goes down, you can expect to hear this chanted ad nauseum: She fell over! She fell over! She fell over! She fell over! Get it? Because girls can't take it. They're weak and stuff. ...
10 comments
Read more